East Toledo's famous annual Hungarian Festival is still going on, but without me. I am SO DEPRESSED! True, it has been raining off and on all day, but I talked to someone who is already there and the festival is still going strong, and plenty of people were there milling around, buying awesome Hungarian food, listening to great music (a friend of mine, Bill Leonhardt, who played in Pictures, my band ex-husband played bass for, is playing drums in another band at the festival today. I REALLY wanted to go and listen to them! AND see a BUNCH of people who I haven't seen in a while - that's the MAIN ATTRACTION of the HUNGARIAN FESTIVAL!)..until 9 pm tonight in fact. I called
anyone I could think of that might want to go with me, and that could pick me up (since I no longer have a vehicle) and had no luck. One person I knew That might want to go with me, had already left for it, one person was working, another one who offered to take me and hang out, either decided to go after telling me he wasn't going because of the rain or isn't calling me back, or went and didn't feel like getting me now, and the other two are evidently avoiding me because I know they have their phone with them and didn't return my page or cell call.
(sigh)...This reminds me of last winter...The Hungarian Festival is actually the beginning of Fall for me, because after this festival (Ethnic Festivals = Summer here in Toledo)it's the Greek Festival, the weekend of Sept 8th, then school is in (our's starts August 27th already!!) and the Fall just flies by, then the cold weather starts. Before you know it, it's Halloween, then Christmas,(Christmas has become SO STRESSFUL for me with family shit and lack of money to make my daughters holiday something to really look forward to) then the THREE UNGODLY MONTHS OF DEEP DEPRESSION FOR ME, when the only thing that makes me feel better is eating.(I still have ONE MONTH to get off 5 pounds, almost impossible for me when all we have to eat is crap in the house and no money to get fruit and healthy food, and get under 200 at least!)Throughout the winter, I don't hear from anyone, no visitors, no calls, no going-out, nor do I have any extra money. (Hell at this point, I probably would give-in and go to the bar just to be around some PEOPLE!)
But....the NASCAR Race up at Michigan International Speedway (about 45 minutes away) was rained out, and that was the only other thing I had to look forward to today. In the past 5 years, I used to AT LEAST be up at Sunny's Campground, camping behind Karl (who passed away last month) and JJ, trying like hell to talk someone at the campground into driving up to MIS to LISTEN to the race and be in the mix! I didn't even go camping in the past 2 years,(except once for my daughter's birthday out at Maumee Bay). Anyway, the race is supposed to re-air tomorrow at noon. The forecast says rain for the next 3 days so I guess we'll have to wait and see.
The "Hunky" Fest will not be postponed. They are all partying right with the rain. This is it for the year. And this is my life for this summer.
I need to find a friend that LIKES ME. And I need a boyfriend even worse (I'm finally READY I DO BELIEVE), and I need to get my finances in order (Oh I have a water line leak, a mushy area in my grass too - it looks like I have a leak in my pipes and that costs about $1,200.00 to fix, my neighbor, Victor said..that's all I needed to push me over he edge. Time to sign up for counseling again....
GEES! I HOPE THIS IS PMS! I HATE TO THINK I HAVEN'T PROGRESSED AT ALL THIS YEAR! I'm still spinning my wheels.
Ta Ta for now,
TTR
PS. Please pray for me.
